Book reviews annoy me. I look to them for recommendations of what to read and what to stay away from, but instead I usually get seven paragraphs of plot regurgitation and a couple sentences about the author’s writing style. So basically, it’s Sparknotes for grownups garnished with some generic criticism. Blah!

I plan to post more frequently on this blog, and part of that effort will be reviews of the books I read on my Kindle. Here’s an introduction to three of the twists I’ll be employing in my new approach to book reviews.

1. Grades

Although my days in English classrooms are over, the process of reading a book still evokes an image of academia for me. Therefore, it seems only logical to rate the books I review using an A to F grading system (the good folks over at the AV Club do the same thing).

For those who still swear by the five-star rating scheme, the two systems should line up well: A = 5 stars, B = 4 stars, C = 3 stars, D = 2 stars and F = 1 star. The advantage of using grades is that I’ll be able to assign +’s and -’s to be even more precise.

2. L/C Ratio

The books I read fall somewhere in between two extremes of literature. At one end, there are novels intended to be works of art – full of symbolism, intricate characters and philosophical exploration. At the other end of the spectrum, there are novels meant to appeal to mainstream audiences by placing more emphasis on plot twists, catchy dialogue and standard character arcs.

To illustrate this spectrum in my book reviews, I’ve devised something called the Literary/Commercial Ratio, or L/C Ratio. It serves as my interpretation of the author’s intent.

For example, a Thomas Pynchon novel would probably get an L/C Ratio of 80/20 – meaning the writer devoted 80% of his effort to creating a literary work of art and 20% of his effort to creating a commercial best-seller. On the other hand, a James Patterson thriller that you pick up in an airport would get an L/C Ratio of 10/90. And a novel like The Art of Fielding would be closer to 50/50.

A book’s L/C Ratio does not measure how much I liked it or how good of a story it tells. I could love one 80/20 book and hate another one with the exact same L/C Ratio. Think of it more as a recommendation tool. I bet a lot of readers are like me – some weeks you are in the mood for a deep piece of literature that will really make you think, and other times you just want a page-turner that will entertain you.

3. Thematic Breakdown

Book genres are the only things I find as annoying as book reviews. Selecting genre categories was the hardest part of self-publishing my debut novel, Train Wreck. Amazon lets you assign only two genres to each title, and in the four months my book has been out, I’ve moved it between thriller, humor, action adventure, general fiction, literary fiction, psychological and suspense. I don’t particularly like any of those labels. At this point, I’ve basically given up trying to categorize the book and now just refer to it speculative fiction.

The same problem carries over into book shopping. So much fiction gets lumped into the “literary” genre, which is not a useful distinction when it comes to finding a book you will enjoy. To combat that, I’ll be adding a thematic breakdown to my book reviews. It will list the major story elements (without spoiling the plot) along with an estimate of the percentage of the text devoted to each theme.

To use The Art of Fielding as an example, here’s what its thematic breakdown might look like:

30% - Personal growth & discovery
25% - Romantic relationships
20% - Baseball
15% - Bonds of friendship
5% - College life
5% - Family dynamics 

You don’t even know the premise of the book yet, but those few bits of information can give you a good sense of whether it’s something to add to your reading list.